Don’t Worry, Be Happy

Great word from the Lord tonight at bible study. We Don’t have to worry about the H1N1 Influenza or the world economic crisis as God will super naturally protect and direct us as long as we stay under and close to his anointing. Just like the widow women and the woman of Shunem in 11kings chapeter 4. (Written by SOLW)

Not going to say where I found this story, but I found it to be kind of humorous.

I’m all for being protected from the H1N1 and the economic crisis. Yay!! But couldn’t a person say the same thing about the gov’t.  To paraphrase the above quote:

Great word from Prime Minister Harper or Obama. “Let me be clear, we will be protected from H1N1 and the economic crisis. Do not leave Canada or the USA” 

Have to love those pentecostal belivers though, they are always so jacked up and over the top about everything.

Nobel winner slams Bible as ‘handbook of bad morals’

LISBON (AFP) – A row broke out in Portugal on Monday after a Nobel Prize-winning author denounced the Bible as a “handbook of bad morals”.

Speaking at the launch of his new book “Cain”, Jose Saramago, who won the 1998 Nobel Prize for Literature, said society would probably be better off without the Bible.

Roman Catholic Church leaders accused the 86-year-old of a publicity stunt.

The book is an ironic retelling of the Biblical story of Cain, Adam and Eve’s son who killed his younger brother Abel.

At the launch event in the northern Portuguese town of Penafiel on Sunday, Saramago said he did not think the book would offend Catholics “because they do not read the Bible”.

“The Bible is a manual of bad morals (which) has a powerful influence on our culture and even our way of life. Without the Bible, we would be different, and probably better people,” he was quoted as saying by the news agency Lusa.

Saramago attacked “a cruel, jealous and unbearable God (who) exists only in our heads” and said he did not think his book would cause problems for the Catholic Church “because Catholics do not read the Bible.

“It might offend Jews, but that doesn’t really matter to me,” he added.

Father Manuel Marujao, the spokesman for the Portuguese conference of bishops, said he thought the remarks were a publicity stunt.

“A writer of Jose Saramago’s standing can criticise, (but) insults do no-one any good, particularly a Nobel Prize winner,” the priest said.

Rabbi Elieze Martino, spokesman for the Jewish community in Lisbon, said the Jewish world would not be shocked by the writings of Saramago or anyone else.

“Saramago does not know the Bible,” the rabbi said, “he has only superficial understanding of it.”

The author caused a scandal in Portugal in 1992 with “The Gospel According to Jesus Christ.”

The book depicted Jesus losing his virginity to Mary Magdalene and being used by God to control the world.

Saramago quit Portugal at the time and moved to Lanzarote, in the Spanish Canary Islands.

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Some things I learned from this story. (1) The easiest way to earn a Nobel Prize is to write a book. (2) It’s okay to offend catholics. (3) A person can actually quit a country. Who knew? If I can quit a country, does that mean I can start a country?

Seems to be a lot of irony involved in this story. The guy has a hate for the bible, but yet he chooses to write books that have biblical themes. So does that make his books, which are inspired by a “manual of bad morals”, into books of even worse morals?

He’s just jealous because people are not reading his book, whereas at least people buy the Bible and not read it.

Remind me never to get into Saramago’s head. I would not want to meet the cruel, jealous, and unbearable god that lives there.

Madonna buys luxury home for Jesus

By Bang

Madonna is buying her boyfriend a $2.7 million New York apartment.

The ‘Material Girl’ singer is reportedly splashing out the impressive sum so 23-year-old model Jesus Luz can be close to her $40million house in the US city.

A source told Britain’s The Sun newspaper: “Madonna is buying Jesus an apartment in New York. She has her real estate agent searching for the perfect pad for him in the new neighborhood where she has just moved.

“She’s told them to spend no more than $2.7 million and the property has to be within walking distance of her townhouse. She is financing everything but Jesus will own it once it’s found and bought.

“She really wasn’t kidding when she told him he’ll never have to worry about money from now on.”

Other investments Madonna, 51, has made for her Brazilian-born lover are believed to include top DJ tuition and $48,000 of music equipment.

She also keeps him on her payroll and reportedly helped him to get his US visa renewed in December, and to land new modeling contracts.

However, while Madonna is prepared to invest in the home for Jesus, other sources claim she is wary of marrying him, in case he takes her fortune. The couple are instead planning a commitment ceremony.

A source said: “She is devoted to Jesus and has already started drawing up a guest list. The blessing will be at the Kabbalah centre followed by a reception at her New York house.

“It will not be a legal wedding. She is not taking any chances over her money again.”

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In a related story – catholics around the world are perplexed and suffering from mixed emotions. On the one hand, they are pleased that Madonna is looking after Jesus and that they are not living together. On the other hand, they think this is just creepy and it seems sort of blashpemous. Madonna marrying Jesus. I mean this is worse than the DaVinci Code. The Pope could not be reached for a comment, not that I tried very hard.

Does anyone besides me think that Madonna has some kind of weird religious imbalance going on here? She’s a follower of Kabbalah, her name is Madonna and ”she is devoted to Jesus.”